Day Zero – The point of no return

It’s 1pm and the preliminaries are getting under way. I’m now hooked up to the saline IV until after the infusion which is currently scheduled for 3pm.

The overnight sleep was in fits and starts as one might expect as I got used to the room, the floor and the procedures. Last vitals were around 9:30pm and the next at 2am. As I’m the new guy they didn’t need me to wake up for the usual BP, temperature and pulse oxygen. From here on out there will be a 2am wake up call. 🙁

In addition to that there are night staff just walking in and looking around to see that you have not escaped and appear to be alive. I think at some point I’ll be able to tune out those quick in & out checks.

6am, we’re up and by “we” I mean me and my room mate. Lights on and we both get the full battery of tests, BP, Temp PulseOX, blood work, plus the questions to ensure you’re not cognitively compromised and the hand writing sample. I’m told this will be the new standard every 8 hours (or more).

After that I get a bit more sleep as we turn off the lights and just hangout in the room. Breakfast arrives while I‘m dozing and I’m on clear liquids & jello. Not sure why. In a while Shirley will arrive for a visit and she is bringing treats like Starbucks☕️ and supplies from “home” (aka Kathy’s).

Happy Camper (?)

A full lunch arrives and it’s quite good! Hot things arrive hot, really hot!

At one point in the morning a team from the ICU at Mt. Sinai (next door to PMH and connected by a walkway) show up as promised , to check in. Two young doctors introduce themselves and say they will be getting familiar with my chart and following up daily. It’s good that’s they are prepared, and I hope to never see them at their place of work. 😜

So, by about 4:45pm the infusion process is complete. There were no problems and I’m currently feeling fine, but tired, mainly due to the Benadryl and some due to the emotions of the process and the day. More later tonight or tomorrow. So thankful for the miracle.

Admitted: Day -1

Here I am on 15B in the Princess Margaret Hospital.

It’s a pretty small area, a typical hospital room, that I’m sharing with Ernie, my roommate. Sounds like he might be out Friday afternoon and that I might be in for more like 2 weeks which sounds more typical than the 7 day minimum. Who knows, perhaps I’ll be an overachiever.

Lots of questions on how I’m doing, do I have this, that and the other thing? Generally, “no”. Later the Dr says I’m a sought after patient for the nurses because basically other than this one thing, I’m fine. A low maintenance patient and I’m hoping to keep it that way.

Once again there are a multitude of tests. Blood work, chest X-ray, ECG, and a series of swabs of various interesting parts of my body! Apparently, making sure I’m not coming into the hospital with some sort of disease/infection.

At least x-ray was a trip off the ward down to the 3rd floor for a front & side chest x-ray. They let me walk back to the ward on my own! I could have gone AWOL to the Tim’s or something. Security seems lax enough. 😜

It seem like I’ll need to get my head in that game and settle in. It’s only 5:15pm and I’m feeling bored/trapped/stuck and who knows what else. Time seems to have slowed to a crawl. One day at a time, all things are possible.

Last Chemo: Day -4

Today is the last chemotherapy appointment with 4 days to go until infusion.

Some have asked why chemo with CAR-T, good question. It’s called lymphodepleting (LD) chemotherapy.

Lymphodepleting (LD) chemotherapy is given several days (usually 2–14 days) before you receive your CAR T cells, you will return to the hospital or clinic to receive one or more chemotherapy agents. This chemotherapy decreases the number of T cells in your body to make room for the new CAR T cells. This process is called lymphodepletion. The lymphodepleting chemotherapy will be given to you by a nurse or another trained healthcare professional. You will receive these medications through a vein. Fludarabine and cyclophosphamide are usually given daily for 3 days before the CAR T therapy.

From “What is CAR-T therapy” article.

Tomorrow is “moving day” as we transition our accommodations from my cousin Leslie’s in Scarborough to my cousin Kathy’s in Oakville. Thanks so much Leslie for your gracious hospitality, the great meals, the pampering, and the many trips downtown to the hospital.

Choose today…

Back at PMH for Chemo 2/3, but this is about last night and some thoughts I had.

So, I’m up at 4:30am for the bathroom and I can’t seem to get back to sleep. So, what to do? I’m thinking all kinds of random thoughts and then I decide to pray about stuff, mainly for other people as they came to mind. Then in my mind I recited some key healing verses for me and did a little mental worship. After a while I decided to just listen and asked God if he had anything to say to me, always an interesting moment.

The first thought that came to me was “choose” and then Joshua 24:15

“… then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”

Choose today who you will serve really resonated with me. When we were “new christians” back in the day we were really excited about all kinds of stuff. We bought lots of bibles (which didn’t see too much use 😔), a cross to hang on the wall and a plaque which was Joshua 24:15 and it’s still hanging in our house. Something like this.

I was reminded that so many things in our lives that happen to us are beyond our control, and some things for sure are not our choice. However, we always have a choice in how we respond, we can choose:

  • To have faith
  • To believe
  • To trust
  • To respond in love
  • To receive love
  • To rest in the shelter of The Most High God
  • To worry less
  • To pray more
  • To praise more

In short, all of life is a choice. So many choices and many times I make choices automatically without thinking, we all do, but are the choices the best for me? That’s a mixed bag, am I right? Routines can be good, like not having to think about or choose how to brush your teeth, it’s wired in your brain. However, if I make an automated choice in response to an issue and then experience anxiety and worry, that’s not helpful.

I’ve been enjoying Craig Groeschel‘s new book Winning the War in you Mind, Change your thoughts, change your life, I highly recommend it. The basic premise is changing the way you think and make choices by renewing you mind. He supports the way to do this with both scriptural doctrine and science. I won’t attempt to explain it too much and if you’re not a book person his sermons based on the book are available on YouTube. Full playlist here.

At a super high level it’s about ensuring your thoughts are in line with God’s thoughts, and if they are not, how to go about replacing wrong thoughts with The Word. It’s about choosing how to think.

From a scientific point of view we can “rewire” our minds by creating new neural pathways. Once these pathways get entrenched our automatic choices will follow the new pathways. As Rick Hanson says “neutrons that fire together, wire together”. In the past it was thought that after a certain (young) age that the pathways in the brain were fixed. However, research has shown we can rewire our brains, it’s called neuroplasticity.

For those of you who have attended Springs Church for quite a while you may be thinking this is nothing new. Carsey Treat had it right with his book and teaching on “Renewing the Mind” and then later on Dr. Caroline Leaf came a couple of times with her book and teaching Switch On Your Brain. Seems I needed a little repetition to have it more fully sink in. 😂, plus I really like Craig Groeschel’s style and delivery.

All that to say, I spent a lot of time thinking about my choices in the middle of the night. I’m excited to be in the process of rewiring my brain to come more and more in line with God’s word and what He says about me. It’s a choice… every day.

… choose today…. But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.

Chemo Day 1

Unfortunately, this is a pretty familiar process but on a much bigger scale at the PMH. I’m in chair 77 in the Red zone. There are several colour zones and most of the 4th floor is dedicated to chemotherapy. So, a lot of stations for chemotherapy.

I check in and I’m given a pager! I can roam the entire building with the pager and when it beeps I’ve been assign a chair. After waiting for a bit I decide I will pick up some Tim’s as unfortunately there is no Starbucks in the vicinity. But as soon as I get in the Tim’s line, the pager goes off so it’s back up to the 4th floor.

Two meds are administered each taking 30 minutes and the PICC dress is changed. The nurse is very nice and we review the side effects and what to do etc. I’ve had one of the meds before without any problems, the other is new to me.

All together I’m at PMH for about 2 1/2hrs. Same routine for Friday and Saturday so unless something exciting happens I’m not likey to post anything until next Tuesday, admission day.

Stressed

I’m actually quite relaxed but the purpose of today’s testing is to stress my heart and take some pictures.

I’m at a new hospital today, Toronto Western, on the 5th floor in the east wing.

After the usual check-in it’s into a lovely hospital gown and off to the exam room. Blood pressure, temperature and some questions. Then I’m hooked up to an EKG with 13 leads, lots of sticky patches all over my chest. Then it’s an injection with some radioactive stuff and I wait for about 30 minutes while it circulates. The next step is about 20 minutes under the camera where they collect the images. This concludes the resting portion of the test.

After the imaging I’m free for about 90 minutes where I can have some lunch and drink something but still no coffee. ☕️

I’m called back in and the stress part starts. I’m reconnected to the EKG and a blood pressure cuff and it’s on to the treadmill.

The goal is to get my heart rate to 151bpm. Apparently, 124 is the minimum requirement but I’m going all the way! Things start up slowly for a couple of minutes and then the speed and incline increase. At the top rate it’s a very brisk walking pace. As I hit 151 a nurse appears and injects the 2nd dose of radioactive stuff while I’m still on the treadmill. In under 12 minutes it’s all done.

Constant monitoring of my heart (EKG) and blood pressure.

After a brief cool down I wait a few more minutes and then the second set of pictures are taken. They confirm the images are good and I’m free to go.

The next morning we hear about the results and I “passed” so I’m good to go for chemo and the CAR-T.

Today’s Adventure is brought to you by the letters P, I, C and another C. Day -8

It’s the day to get the Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter, more commonly referred to as a PICC line.

The Floroscope (real-time x-ray) System used to guide the process.
That’s actually me!

Once again things are quite streamlined. I’m brought into the room with an OR like table with the above equipment at my head. I lay down and stick out my left arm. An ultrasound is used to visualize where the vein is and then the area is sterilized and draped.

A local anaesthetic of Lidocane is administered and the insertion procedure begins. The tubing is inserted in the brachial vein of the left arm via a #5 French catheter for a length of 48cm ending at the Cavoatrial junction. The double lumen line contains two separate openings through the same catheter so that two solutions or medications that are not compatible can be given simultaneously.

To finish off the lines are flushed with heparin, a dressing is applied and a Statlock securement device is applied. In the end it looks like this.

In under 30 minutes I’m free to go.

The Hits just keep on coming

A new plan for Wednesday March 10th. I get to have a Myocardial Perfusion Scan.

I glossed over one of the things that happened right at the end of my last Friday’s meeting with the CAR-T coordinator. “You may have had a heart attack so we want to get a cardiology consult”. Whoa, news to me!

The MRI of my heart done back on February 1st apparently showed some “issues” and this is the first I’m hearing about it. Anyway, they have consulted with a cardiologist and they have requested yet another test, this Myocardial Perfusion Scan, more specifically a Exercise Sestamibi Test.

This test will take 4-5 hours and as a result of this new twist, chemotherapy has been pushed back one day so its now happening on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. So far, the admission (March 16th) and infusion (March 17th) dates are holding. The test is in another building in the UHN complex so I’ll get to explore the Toronto Western Hospital which is roughly in the same city block as the other hospitals I’ve been cruising through.

I’ve got to admit it’s getting harder to “go with the flow”, “roll with the punches” etc. So far, no details on the specific reasons driving the test, if the heart issue is serious or not, if it will affect the CAR-T process or not. It could be just a precaution, after all they have checked virtually every other part of my body. Hopefully, some better answers in the days ahead.

To top it all off I can’t have any coffee until the test is complete!

Return to PMH: Day -12

Today I’m back at Princess Margaret Hospital (PMH) for more testing and a meeting with the doctors and Andrew, our CAR-T therapy coordinator. It’s Day -12 as March 17th is the day I’ll be getting my CAR-T cells infused, which is referred to as “Day 0”.

First up is a PET scan that will be used as the base-line pre-treatment. It’s interesting to note the differences in the processes between HSC in Winnipeg and PMS in Toronto. The Toronto folks seem to be much faster and have seemingly streamlined the procedure while still doing the same job.

The check in process was about the same but the injection was quicker and they didn’t leave the IV in for the duration like they do in Winnipeg. Changing is into a pair of hospital pants only, in Winnipeg they are more into a full gown mode. In the PET scanner it seemed faster here which might be due to a newer machine. The one in Winnipeg is 10+ years old and just now being replaced with a new model. Winnipeg is typically 2 – 2 1/2 hours, here I’m done in under 1 1/2 hours.

Next up is some blood work and a return visit to the AWA (Ambulance Waiting Area). This is where they collect blood if you have a Port or PICC line. If you were just getting blood drawn the “normal” way via a jab to an arm vein they have a pretty high-tech operation with dozens of stations to get the job done. Back in the AWA it’s more like a backwater ghetto, a holding pen with an assortment of mismatched chairs scattered about and lots of people getting in line for the two techs who can do the job. Still, not bad, a 20 minute wait and the very efficient tech gets my 5 tubes of blood with blazing speed and I‘m free to go.

Now it’s about 10:15 am and my next appointment is 1:30 pm, so some time to kill. After a Tim’s coffee and muffin I’m out for a walk to explore some of downtown Toronto. Not too much is possible as Toronto is still on a full lockdown with “stay at home” orders. The only things open are some restaurants but I’d have to eat out on the street and while it’s sunny it’s fairly windy and a little on the cold side so that option is not too appealing.

Around a few blocks

The 1:30pm meeting is primarily about reviewing my status with the various nurses and doctors. Vitals and a mini-assessments with a nurse, a more detailed review with the resident, and a recap with the senior hematologist all covering pretty much the same ground.

After the doctors are done Andrew reviews the plan for the next week up to my admission and I’m given another bunch of prescriptions for various anti-nausea meds to deal with the upcoming chemo treatments. The prescriptions were a bit of a surprise and another reminder that the chemo might not be a “walk in the park” so it’s off the the hospital pharmacy to get them filled.

I thought this would be an easy day but, by the end I’m a little emotionally fried from the testing and talking about everything so much. I’m relieved to see Shirley & Leslie waiting in the car to take me home.

On the road again

Well, actually were flying😊✈️. Sorry, I seemed to have used the same title 2x in a row no less but I can’t think of anything better. 😜

Toronto bound

Unlike the last trip the flight is packed! But, we’re on the 2 seat side of the plane so this is as good as it gets today.